Help back this business, I see potential

I've just pledged $30 to help kick start a friend's business, Branch Clothing and you can too! Please help my friend Chris Z. make the American dream come true and pledge $30 to receive a pair of the custom hand made shorts. Chris is one of the kids I've met through my study abroad program and he is about to go home and start the revolution on his self made business. He's got all the right elements--the ideas, the determination, the innovation, the willingness, and a nifty new bus to sell his shorts out of. Now he just needs $2,000 to make it happen so the wheels can start rolling!

Now check out the website where you can pledge too!

I'll be rocking a custom pair of shorts this summer and ya'll be jealous if you didn't get on that!

Los ultimos días

Another inspirational quote from a fellow study abroad friend...

This describes exactly how I feel. It was a strange feeling to come to Spain and get adjusted, but it's even weirder as I prepare to leave. My life has changed, my eyes have been open, and there is no way that can be reversed, except I have to go home and fit back into the way my life used to be... but with the new me. So then it's different. So very hard to explain.

“You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place, I told him, like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you'll never be this way ever again.”

          -Azar Nafisi

Young wild and free

 

Feeling sentimental on my last days of studying abroad, so there will be sentimental quotes to go along with this feeling. A girl in my program posted this quote and it was too good not to share...

 

"You have four years to be irresponsible in college. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does"
 

              -Tom Petty

Spanish takeover

Learning Spanish is pretty challenging and frustrating at times, but I have to say things like this make me happy to know the language. Will Farrell is coming out with a new movie, Casa de Mi Padre, where he speaks in Spanish the entirety of the production. Watch the trailer, then watch the interview with Jimmy Kimmel below, never laughed so hard listening to something in Spanish.

That shit cray

To say the least, Amsterdam went above and beyond my expectations for how insane it was. Whether this is good or bad, I don't know. All I know is I went, I saw, I lived through it, and that may be that. I'm only going to brief on my very first impression of Amsterdam.

I was traveling with one other girl, and our first impression of Amsterdam was undeniably shocking. We got into the city late at night, determined to not let this expensive over run tourist trap leave us penniless, so we walking and public transit were necessary.

Conventional shop? Try again, this is a red light district brothel

After getting of the train we are not only trying to navigate a foreign city, but we don't know the language, it's dark out, and there is a carnival going on in the center of the city because we of course arrived on a holiday weekend. We definitely could tell we were getting closer to our hostel, we we just having trouble finding the last road, when we noticed a row of buildings ahead. I saw a windowsill lined with a glowing soft red and a small red lantern on the side of the building. In my mind I was thinking, wouldn't it be funny if the red light district had red street lights? Well, my silly thoughts became reality as we came upon the red light district, face to face with prostitutes who were clearly on the clock.

Knowing prostitution was legal in this country did not prepare me for the shock of seeing it in action. These women are on display in windows or glass doors and there are no secrets nor are there black curtains with misleading signs, it's perfectly clear what happens in behind those doors.

Needless to say myself and the gal I was traveling with were scared shitless for what we had just stumbled upon. We quickly decided we were not going the right way, and when we finally found our hostel it was still smack dab in the middle of the red light district. As we were checking in, just across the street we could see one of the ladies of the night working her window.

However, the next day as we toured the city we learned the red light district is one of the safest sections in the entire city. Among other things, our tour guide thought it was important to learn more about Amsterdam than just sex and drugs. For example, did you know Amsterdam has more canals than the city of Venice, Italy? That's a fact and that's me pictured on one of them.

Becoming the person we're meant to be

In this final month of studying abroad, my life has taken a turn I never saw coming. I know that life doesn't throw things at us when we cannot handle them, therefore it's true that everything happens for a reason. I've been catching up on my solitary thinking and trying to work out all the kinks. However, thinking only does so much, it's time that tells all. 

All I know is I cannot control the actions of others, the only thing I can control are my own. Although I wish things were perfect, I know what doesn't kill us make us stronger. The path I'm on now is the right one. I found there is a constant battle within myself of what to do with the situation at hand, but I know I have to make myself happy, and do what is right for myself. 

I'm not one to quote Facebook, but the other day I read an interesting quote and I hope it finds it's way to the right people. As individuals, we make our own decisions. We make our own lives. At some point we have to step back and decide who we want to be. 

~~~

 

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

That awkward moment when...

You're host mom makes dinner and leaves you alone in the kitchen with your Spanish roommate and says that "you two should chat." And the most awkward part about it, is that you don't.

Oh weird, that just happened to me. And now I feel guilty because I've probably never spoken much more than a full sentence to him at once, and I've been here for about 4 months now. I've still got one more month to make up for lost time... probably won't.

Meh. Lo siento. 

Food, cider, and music

Yesterday was my biggest dose of Basque culture since I've been here. Yesterday a small group of us from my program went have lunch at a sidreria in San Sebastian, which is something we would consider a cider house. The cider is made right there onsite and were are two huge rooms lined with cider barrels bigger than you can imagine.

I had no idea what to expect when I got there, mostly because I went into blindly after the idea got tossed around one day and it sounded fun. It's different than anything I've done in the States because everyone eats the same three course meal and everyone who reserved to eat at the sidreria that day all eats at the same time and stays for a couple hours. 

We of course were the first ones there because we were not entirely sure how everything worked. But like by little, after our tour of the cider house the whole place filled up with people of all ages. We ate and drank like nobody's business and I probably ate the best steak I've ever eaten in my life. And the cider was great, fresh and straight from the tap of the barrel. And we learned how to correctly tilt the glass when serving yourself from the spewing tap.

As the each course was brought out, the people were getting louder and more cider was being consumed. Some people were eating, some were mingling by the cider barrels, but everyone was happy. It was the most friendly I've ever seen Basque people for that matter and I believe it was because their shell was already broken and they were in the comfort zone of their own food, friends, and culture.

Later on there was music and dancing and all of us Americans were asked to sing their Basque songs with them which was pretty tricky... I was really just making noises. It was so much fun to see the big mix of people, everyone from 5 years old to 85 years old was in one place drinking, eating, and enjoying life. After the lunch was over everyone was asking us to join them at the bar down the street.

After a countless number of cider glasses we had all consumed, we made our way out to find we were all fairly intoxicated and it was still light out. In fact it was still the middle of the day. To our surprise the bar everyone was heading to was actually raging and it was before 4 p.m.

Needless to say we stayed there for a few more hours and continued to rage the day away with some who looked to be older than my mother. Regardless, it was one of the best days I've had since being here. However drinking in the middle of the day does have it's consequences like when you stop drinking and have to get on an hour long bus ride home, it turns out you're experiencing the onset of a hangover and you haven't even gotten in bed yet.

Real mom meets temporary Spanish mom

I was blessed with a two week spring break to do whatever I pleased and not be in school, and I was also very fortunate to have my mom visit for the entire duration of the break. She flew into Bilbao and the first thing I did was bring my real mom to my host mom, Carmen's house.

My mom not knowing any Spanish, made it an interesting job being a translator, but exhausting might be a better word. Overall we stayed in my house with my host family for six days, a few days in the beginning and few days at the end. Carmen would carry on these lengthy conversations with my mom and I would be stuck translating every single sentance. Sometimes she would even be giving us mini history lessons about Spain as well. By the last day I was barely translating anything and I could see my mom turning her head to me, looking for the translation, but I would just nod and let Carmen knew I understood.

The job of a translator is tiring, and because when I listen I understand all of it, some things seem pointless to translate into English because it seems simple enough to understand. In reality that's not the case, people can pick up words, but it's harder to understand the meaning or the substance of a conversation. 

It was actually very humorous and sweet... by the last days Carmen and my mom had gotten to know each other and Carmen would tell my mom that because they were both women they could understand each other. Language didn't always stand in their way, some things were just understood without translation.

Regardless, we had an amazing time traveling around Spain. I played translator/speaker/navigator during our travels, but we were also able to use a lot of English. In some places if I was stumbling with my Spanish people would just start speaking English to me. I tried not to take it personally.

Soon I'll only being hearing English, wondering where all the Spanish went!

From one side of Spain to the other

After over 20 hours of bus rides, 4 different cities, and countless number of museums, churches, ruins, and castles my mom and I had made it from the north to the south of Spain and back again in 13 days. It was a successful spring break with only a few minor incidents, one of them being nearly pick pocketed in Madrid, another being getting lost in the cold and rain at 1 a.m., but other than that we made out fine!

Bilbao, the city I go to school in, is very far north in Spain, as you can see from the map. We stopped in Madrid for lunch on the way down south, and the hopped back on a bus to Granada. Granada is famous for the Alhambra which is Moorish palace. It is one of the most impressing structures I've seen in my life. And this was my second visit. More photos of the Alhambra can be seen on my Flickr account.

After Granada, we got on yet another bus to Malaga which is a city right on the water, and one of the oldest cities in the world having a history dating from nearly 2,800 year ago.

 After the beach, we headed to Madrid for a proper stay. It was still brief, we only spent one night but we were still able to see the famous Prado Museum and eat lunch in Plaza Mayor.

 

Nerves

I'm currently wasting time before I make my way to the airport to pick up my mother. She'll be spending the next 13 days in Spain, just living the life. I'm super excited and it's going to be quite strange to have another piece of home here with me in Spain. I found that with my boyfriend visiting, it was so strange to show someone my new life here; simply because it's so different.

Also, we'll be spending the first night here in my homestay with my Spanish family. My real mom is about to meet my temporary Spanish mom. My real mom is not anything like the Spanish moms here. She doesn't stay at home, cook, clean, do laundry, and take care of everyone.

Ever since my parents divorced when I was about 17 years old, my mom and I have lived together just the two of us. My sister, being 6 years older hasn't lived at home since I was 13 years old. So since late high school, I've been basically roommates with my mom. Not to say she hasn't been a mother, but any 17 year old girl or boy that has two hands can do their own dishes and laundry and clean their own room. She didn't need to do those things for me, and that's just what I'm used to. However in Spain, this woman who is my host mom does all things a stay at home mom does.

So, here I am in my room in Spain wondering what my mom will think of all this? I wonder what she'll think of this woman who feeds me every day and irons my jeans. I wonder what she'll make of Spain. When my mom was in high school her family moved abroad and lived in France. I believe the Basque Country of Spain will probably not compare to anything she has seen in Europe so far.

The Spanish aren't very Irish

I celebrated Saint Patrick's Day last night and found it is not super popular here! But what would I expect? There were a few bars serving Guinness and giving away hats but not many people were wearing green or even sporting green green beads. The little amount of Irish in me isn't enough to get sad about the lack of green. And I hate Guinness anyway. In hindsight I should have gotten a plane ticket to Ireland for the weekend... could have been interesting.

Now I've only got 9 more weekends in Europe to explore and keep knocking new places off my traveling wish list. Amsterdam is a top destination, so I'm hoping it can work out in my favor. 

Props to this chic

Last week my communication professor invited all her students to her apartment for dinner and drinks. She's also doing an exchange as a teacher, as she is normally teaching at Northern Arizona State in Flagstaff. It was a kind gesture to invite all her students and cook for them as well! We ate a super good, super healthy meal with plenty of vegetables and fruits (which we happen to lack in our daily lives here).

Here I met a girl studying through another program here in Bilbao, but also taking classes through my program as well. As we got to talking I find out she's studying Chemical Engineering. I asked her if that's hard to study abroad with such a strict curriculum. I don't think I know of any UMaine Engineers who have studied abroad for this reason. However, she went on to tell me that she was able to take some of her required engineering classes here in Spain. I thought, wow that's awesome she was able to find a program with so many classes offered to her, but come to find out she's taking an engineering class taught in Spanish.

That bitch got balls to sit through a science class babbled off in Spanish. So I asked her if she was learning anything, and she replied yes because she had the English version of the textbook. Well lucky her because otherwise that sounds like a mess. I have no idea how I would take tests or ask questions about formulas or numbers if it was all in Spanish. Not like I have any clue about math and science in English either though.

Crema de cacahuete

I just got home from the store, I finally caved and bought peanut butter because I just had to have it. I thought I could live without such a simple item, but I was jonesin' for it. However, I'm not at all bothered by leaving my 4 euro jar in the kitchen cabinet because not a damn soul likes peanut butter in Europe. The kid I tutor down the street said he didn't even know what it tasted like! These kids are so deprived from the classic PB&J and the chocolate peanut butter combo for that matter!

Gorgeous day in Spain

Random abandoned structure looking out over the ocean

Just got home from a 4hr walk with my friend Lauren. We didn't intend to be out so long, but we took a metro ride to the breach and ended finding a path that led us back to where we started that ran along the entire coastline.

We saw some kites from far away,
and when we finally reached them we found
people attached to them!

No más pan, por favor

Yesterday was one of the first days in weeks that I did not consume bread. At home, this is not a normal occurrence, and in fact eating bread is quite rare for me. Not in Spain however, fresh loaves of French bread every damn day. I don't even want to pretend like getting on a scale right now would be enjoyable.

Fortunately there is a nice boardwalk that runs along the beach a few blocks from my house. I usually run or walk on nice days but as of recently, I've obtained some roller blades perfect for the biking path. Rollerblading is quite popular here and it makes me wonder why Americans faded out this sport after the 90s. It's better than walking, and less equipment than biking, so it's perfect!

Bittersweet

Probably the most amazing time I've had here in Spain was the time spent with my boyfriend Matt. Before his arrival I literally conjured up the most rediculous worst case senerios of everything that could go wrong. As usual, in the end I was just wasting all that negative energy on nothing. Everything was terrific. We ate, drank, and walked all over Bilbao. It was fun running around the city showing my boyfriend a taste of what my new life is like here, but it was also great when we discovered new things together.

It was such a crazy feeling to have two worlds meet like they did. My new life and everything I do here, from speaking Spanish to using public transportation, is nothing like my life in Maine. Yet, magically Matt was able to bring a taste of home to me.

Come to find out we were both nervous about what it would be like to be together again, and if it would be normal and natural. It was like no time had passed... except our unfamiliar surroundings. 

Today I brought him back to the airport to see him off back to Boston. It was bittersweet because it was so amazing to see him, yet my desire to go home was getting greater. This country is amazing and beautiful and I think Matt would agree but home is where my heart is.

It sucks that in reality we don't know what we have until it's gone. And this goes for anything, material things, people, memories, you name it. I always wanted to be a free spirit, traveling around the world, living in god knows where, but I've learned that I'm just not like that. Not all people have the desire to study abroad. Not all people have the desire to learn about other cultures. But because I did have those desires I thought I should pursue them. Well now that I have, I'm okay with it. I'll be checking it off my check-list and returning home, not living randomly throughout the world. It's okay to be attached to your roots. As humans, why shouldn't we be?

See you soon America!

Photos from top to bottom: two chocolate desserts at La Mary's restaurant; eating pintxos (aka tapas) in Casco Viejo; sunny day on the boardwalk in Gexto

Matt traveled to Spain!

So fortunate my boyfriend could travel all the way to Europe to visit me. The few days he's been here have been some of my best days here in Bilbao!

Carnival weekend in Lisbon

In Brazil and in many places in Europe, the days before Lent people celebrate Carnival. In the States the most comparable holiday is Mardi Gras. People partying, celebrating, and parading through the streets. The difference is that Carnival often insinuates costumes, much like what Americans might wear on Halloween.

Traditional Carnival costumes are quite elaborate and sophisticated as far as costumes go, and you're most likely to find the most traditional wear in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. The best of the best for Carnival goers.

Costumes are not too elaborate in reality

I was lucky enough to spend the holiday weekend in Lisbon, Portugal where the weather was amazing. The costumes were not elaborate, not everyone was dressed in costume either, but the streets were filled with people. Although Tuesday is the biggest day for Carnival, we had to make it back to Spain for classes on Wednesday.

Upon our departure I learned a valuable lesson of traveling. In the airport, I handed over my passport to check in for my flight and the man working behind the counter told me he couldn't find any records of my name on any flights that day. Internally I was freaking out, my heart starting racing, and my palms started sweating. I was not about to get left behind in Portugal. After a mad search for internet in the airport, I was able to check my email to get my confirmation code. My heart dropped when I saw that I was the one who made the mistake.

I had booked a flight for 10:00 a.m. Thursday, and it was Tuesday. Same time, two days later. 50 euros later, I was able to get my flight changed to 12:00 p.m. on Tuesday. I spent about 4 extra hours in the airport than originally intended, but I learned a valuable lesson and I will never make that mistake again.

Made it back to Spain in one piece, learned a lesson, and had some fun celebrating Carnival. Tough life.

Maine? Donde?

The first day I arrived, I told my host mother I was from Maine, showed her on a map and even gave her a calendar of Maine and New Hampshire scenes from the White Mountains. There were just blank stares, I could have said Nebraska and it would have sounded the same to her.

To clarify where Maine was I said, north of Boston. Now the woman thinks I'm from Boston. When I come home after school she asks me if it's cold out, and I usually say no. She always replies with something like, "I bet it's colder in Boston!" "I bet it rains a lot in Boston too," or  "It probably snows a lot in Boston."

After the word Boston left my mouth, she thinks I'm from there. It's easy to generalize a geographical area when you've never been there, but to me it's very different to be from Boston compared to Maine or New Hampshire.

I told my host mom my boyfriend was coming to visit me, and next the time her daughter came over she told her daughter my boyfriend from Boston was coming to Bilbao. Her daughter said, "Oh Boston?" And I said, "no, north of Boston, it's not Boston." 

Hmmfff. It's all the same to them. One time someone once asked me if living in the States was like the movie American Pie? Are you kidding me? What do these people think about America? Too many generalizations.

The Basque Country is not what you think it is.

Mountains and ocean side by side

The Basque Country has a very unique culture, landscape, and language that does not compare to anything else I've seen in Spain. Besides the sheer difference in landscape with the mountains piling on top of on another sitting right at the bay, there are many other differences as well.

The Spanish language is not only spoken here, but Basque as well (or other wise known as Euskara). This is a very old language that does not sound like anything I've heard before. A month ago, when I was preparing to leave, I was under the impression the Basque Country had a different dialect, much like they do in Barcelona with the lispy "th" sound. Come to find out it's a completely different language and no one really knows it's origins and how it came to be because it goes back to times of prehistoric Europe.

The first label is Spanish, the second Basque

Euskara is considered an isolate language because it is not used outside the Basque Country, and is completely surrounded by modern world Romance Languages. Because of it's old history there are only theories of where the language originated. It is the last remaining languages in Western Europe that is considered prehistoric Europe, before the Indo-European languages.

My host mother has her theory on the origins, she explained to me she thinks it's language that stems from vikings, and the Nordic countries. In my opinion that makes sense because there are so many x's and t's in the language and there is a lack of vowels. For instance, Gexto is the name of the town I live in. You pronounce it as if you were trying to be slightly gangster and say "get your freak on" (aka: getcho ya freak onnn). In no way does it make sense that x and t next to each other makes a "ch" sound.

Basque Country in red

To my surprise this language is far from dead, about 22% of the population in the Basque region speak Euskara. They teach it to the kids in school, and everything is printed in both Spanish and Euskara. All street signs, directions, and food labels are all printed with both. I've wondered in the mornings as I eat cereal, where are they printing every last one of theses labels specifically for the Basque people? No where else in Spain will you find this language on every street corner. It's amazing how it still lives.

Damn pop music

Because the weekend is here, I thought it was fitting to share the most popular pop song I´ve heard here in Spain. It´s the European equivilent to Justin Beber, chatchy but just plain awful.
Never thought I would be saying this (and don´t tell my boyfriend) but I miss hearing super intense, super ghetto rap music at parties.


Here is another poplar electronica song

Bonds between language

Me with new friends. Photo credit Lauren Fisher

In a foreign country, the importance of bilingualism (or multilingualism) quickly becomes evident. Even with the Spanish I've learned for the past six years, it's still overwhelming at times to hear these foreign sounds every day. The good news is that communication is becoming smoother by the day. I thought I was doing well by mastering one language, however in just two hours on a plane I'm back to the drawing board and left wondering why I haven't learned to speak more than two languages. 

This past weekend I traveled to Brussels, Belgium with two other girls from my school. It didn't occur to me communication might be struggle until I was already up to my eye balls in a language I don't understand. French. I couldn't even rack my brain of simple phrases like "thank you" or "good bye."

It's not surprising that in a foreign country people will bond over a shared language. Or rather lacking the knowledge of the respective native language. I saw this back in high school at Fryeburg Academy with the many international students coming from places in both Europe and Asia. Nationalities seemed to band together and form cliques. It's really no different in my case. My friends are Americans, I travel with Americans, and in turn I meet more traveling Americans.

Lauren and I with our two new American friends.

On the way to Brussels another group of Americans was on the same bus ride from the airport to the center of the city. They heard us speaking English and quickly made their way to the back of the bus to converse with us. As it turned out they were all students from America, studying in Bilbao (through another program), and spending the weekend in Brussels. Ironically enough we were even at the same hotel.

The entire weekend including all travel time back to Bilbao was spent by their side as a team. Bonding occurred purely due to the fact we all spoke the English language. This is what my new friend, Lauren calls "hyper-bonding," she describes it as friendship on high speed.

Humans are products of their own cultures, so it's only natural we gravitate to those who share the same background. Travelers may try to blend in and be seen as one of them because that seems like the right thing to do, but in the end people bond over commonalities, and here that starts with language.

Crazy ****ing Americans

The differences between Spain and back in the United States have really taken me by surprise! I find myself in a unique situation were I'm not yet acclimated enough to consider myself blended into the culture, but I feel more comfortable than just your average tourist. Spending time here in Bilbao, day after day I have had plenty of time to take mental notes and make observations on their culture.

If I could take one thing back home to my American friends, I would share the European mentality on social life and drinking. Firstly, house parties are nonexistent here, people gather in the streets, restaurants, and bars. Having guests over for tea or dinner is not uncommon, but to host a party in someone's house is absolutely unheard of.

Another thing I've quickly picked up on is that when my friends and I are out on the weekends the Americans are the ones acting the most insane and making drunk fools of themselves. Spaniards definitely love dancing until the sun rises, but I've found leaving the clubs at 5 a.m. hardly anyone is overtly intoxicated. If anyone, I find it's the Americans who are the ones wasted and foolish at the odd hours of the morning.

In Europe friends get together for the sake of spending time with people they sincerely enjoy. Back in the States more often than not, friends get together with the common goal of "getting wasted" or "getting fucked up." In Spain and all over Europe getting drunk is never the goal, that is not to say people are not getting wasted in Europe, it's just not the original intent. The difference here is, getting drunk seems to be the consequence of a really good time with your friends, not the goal.

With that said, I wonder if the drinking age being 21 in America effects this type of mentality?

Observations

I just ended my second week at school here in Spain and while looking around, taking everything in, and trying to figure stuff out, I've made a few observations. Some are obvious and some are strange...

Fried ham anyone?

Spaniards eat so much ham, probably almost every day. I remember vacationing in Spain when I was about 15, and I remember going home and specifically asking for no more ham (for god sake)! Yesterday I thought I was being served pan fried chicken... no it was fried ham. Too bad ham is the one meat I could probably never eat again and be happy about it.

People here stare like it's their job. They will stare but they won't talk to you first. If you need help or directions, or even if you want to talk to locals, you have to make the first step. Everyone here has an attitude that screams, "not interested, nope, never, no how!" It just seems like they think they are so superior or something.

Dogs are hardly ever on leashes, even if they are being walked. And apparently owners don't have to clean up their dog's shit.

The Spanish are so damn relaxed. Siesta doesn't exist in the States because time is money and if you're closed for three hours in the middle of the day you're a fool. Not only that, but they are always late... that's the kind of stuff that can get you fired in America.

No one eats on the go, in the metro or in classrooms. I haven't seen so much as a person with a travel mug for coffee. I don't like that because I'm in love with snacking and coffees on the go.

When it rains (everyday in the winter) no one wears rain jackets or jackets with hoods, they just bring umbrellas everywhere.

No clothes dryers. Everyone hangs their clothes to dry, even in these cold/rainy winter months. Saggy pants syndrome will be rocked all semester. 

Possibly some time around 4 a.m. ?

And lastly, their idea of late nights are ridiculous. Nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m. and they party until 6 a.m. Last night and last weekend I was out until 6:30 a.m. and it's something that should not happen often for me. I wasn't even drinking that much, yet I still feel like I got run over by a bus because of how exhausted I've been all week and will to continue to be because of this never ending cycle of catching up on sleep.

What they don't tell you

The shoreline in Gexto

Before I left everyone told me how much fun I would have, how awesome this experience will be, and how many pictures I should take. What no one told me was, in reality I was going to feel scared and alone the minute I walked off the plane.

Growing up I always used to say how I was never going to live the rest of my life in Maine, how I wanted to live in a city and get of out my small town. Now I'm living the dream--internationally at that. And what do you know, as soon as I arrive in the beautiful Basque Country of Spain, my heart pangs for the New England I know and love.

New room

Everyone gets you psyched for the amazing trips, the chance for language proficiency, the night life, and meeting new people. Well I wasn't excited, I was sad to be in Spain. I found there is a lot of time spent alone, rather than out making memories. I find I am sometimes frustrated with the language and I feel lost. The first few days I literally hoped I could come up with an excuse to fly home.


Since classes have started each day has gotten better. I've been trying to accept and embrace the alone time that is not filled up with new and exciting activities. Not every moment of every day is awesome just because I'm in a foreign country. Sometimes that's what makes it harder--the hype of studying abroad.

My bed for the next five months

But it's the end of my first week, and I already feel more calm. The anxiousness is still there at times, but as I learn more about the city, and language it'll will start to feel more natural to be here.

I am learning, I am having fun, and I am making new friends. It's just been a rough transition, but I'm okay and it can only get better.

Growing up

The mountainous view I will miss on my drive home

Here I am at home, about ten days before my flight leaves for Bilbao and all I want is for my life to be on it's normal track. Normal meaning, going back up to UMaine for the start of the semester like I have done for the past five semesters.

I've been dreaming and anticipating studying abroad in Spain even before I was in college. It's easy to have dreams but I'm realizing now it's harder to live up to them. I'm about to embark on a really amazing journey, yet the feeling of cold feet is somehow creeping in.

A big change is about to happen and I'm not sure what I'm going to make of it. Change feels weird. So does growing up. My mom thinks it's interesting that I even acknowledge the awkward feeling of growing up. But damn do I feel it. It may be more awkward than being a preteen.

Growing up is hard. Making a very real realization can hurt. For me, it's knowing that my life can and will change a dozen times from where I am now.

I know being 20 and in college won't last forever, but what if I like what I have right now? Sometimes I wonder if I'm forcing this change on myself before I'm ready.