Growing up

The mountainous view I will miss on my drive home

Here I am at home, about ten days before my flight leaves for Bilbao and all I want is for my life to be on it's normal track. Normal meaning, going back up to UMaine for the start of the semester like I have done for the past five semesters.

I've been dreaming and anticipating studying abroad in Spain even before I was in college. It's easy to have dreams but I'm realizing now it's harder to live up to them. I'm about to embark on a really amazing journey, yet the feeling of cold feet is somehow creeping in.

A big change is about to happen and I'm not sure what I'm going to make of it. Change feels weird. So does growing up. My mom thinks it's interesting that I even acknowledge the awkward feeling of growing up. But damn do I feel it. It may be more awkward than being a preteen.

Growing up is hard. Making a very real realization can hurt. For me, it's knowing that my life can and will change a dozen times from where I am now.

I know being 20 and in college won't last forever, but what if I like what I have right now? Sometimes I wonder if I'm forcing this change on myself before I'm ready.